When I'm Gone
by LishaM
Summary: [FINISHED] Jeff finds his dream girl , only to have her taken away. Please R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One:  
  
The day was beautiful, and I was just amazed. I was standing out on the back porch of the beach house my bestfriend, Jessi, and I had rented out for the whole summer. I held a cup of coffee in my hand and hand my free arm wrapped around myself as I stood over looking the beach and ocean.   
  
"What are you doing out here all by yourself?" Jessi asked as she joined me on the porch.   
  
"Just watching the waves." I simply replied.   
  
"What'cha thinking about?" She asked. She just knew me all too well.   
  
"How beautiful it is here. I'm glad we chose to come here." I said with a small smile.   
  
"I'm glad too. What do you want to do today?" She questioned.   
  
"How about we go shopping on the boardwalk?" I suggested.   
  
"That sounds good to me." Jessi said. We went inside to change and get ready.   
  
When we were ready we piled into Jessi's car and were off on our way.   
  
Shortly after leaving the beach house, we arrived at the boardwalk. On the boardwalk we came across many unique little store and restaurants. After a couple hours of shopping, we stopped at a small little place for lunch.   
  
"Having fun?" Jessi asked as she took a bite of her turkey club she had ordered.   
  
"A blast! Jessi, I can't thank you enough for everything your doing for me." I said in a shaky voice. I had put my sandwich down and looked at her seriously.   
  
"Hey now! No need to get all down on me. We've got all summer to enjoy this, so lets just do that, ok?" Jessi asked as she placed a reassuring hand on mine. She smiled over at me and I couldn't help but smile back.   
  
"Now, finish up. We've got a lot more shopping to do." She continued with a laugh.   
  
We finished our meals, paid for them, and were on our way out, but we were suddenly stopped by a group of men who were walking in. They just stopped in the doorway, blocking our exit. They didn't even notice us.   
  
"Excuse me, but your blocking the doorway. My friend and I would like to leave. So, if you could be so nice as to move, that would be great." Jessi said. She got all the guys' attention.   
  
"Sorry not moving." Said a blonde man with red sunglasses.   
  
"Is it so hard to just move a little?" Jessi asked in an agitated tone.   
  
"Uh...yeah." The guys replied. Jessi turned to me and we gave each other a nod.   
  
"Oh my God! The room...it's spinning! Jessi..I...I think I'm going to throw up!" I exclaimed as I put a hand over my mouth and puffed out my cheeks like I was going to actually throw up.   
  
"Guys, let them through." A man with multi-colored hair said.   
  
"Yea, Adam you need to stop messin with people." A man with black hair said. The blonde we now knew as Adam, finally moved and we left the restaurant.   
  
"What a bunch of jerks." Jessi said as we started back down the boardwalk.   
  
"They weren't all jerks. Just that one guy. What did they say his name was, Adam?" I questioned back.   
  
"True. Those two that came to our aid were actually kinda cute." Jessi said with a giggle as she linked her arm with mine.   
  
"Yea...too bad..." I was cut off by someone behind us.   
  
"Ladies, excuse me, ladies!" Came a southern male voice behind us. We turned around to see the guy with multi-colored hair jog up to us.   
  
"I just wanted to apologize for my friend back there. He can be kind of obnoxious sometimes." The man said.   
  
"Oh, that's ok. Just forget about it." I said as I grabbed Jessi and we turned to continue on our way.   
  
"Wait, lets start over. Hi, I'm Jeff Hardy, and you are?" He asked as he stopped us again. I looked at Jessi as Jeff extended his hand to me. Jessi only nudged me and smiled.   
  
"I'm Alisha Moquin." I said as I shook his hand.   
  
"And I'm her bestfriend, Jessi Lamb." Jessi butted in. I could only chuckle at her.   
  
"Nice to meet you both." Jeff said with a smile.   
  
"Shouldn't you be getting back to your friends?" I asked with a chuckle.   
  
"Oh, yeah. It was great meeting you, and again I'm sorry about Adam." Jeff said as   
  
he headed back towards the restaurant. Jessi and I just laughed as we headed back to the car. 


	2. Two

Chapter Two:  
  
The next day was just as equally beautiful as the last. Jessi and I had decided to spend the day out on the beach. We were both dressed in our bikini's and were laying out in the sun on our towels. The beach was a private one open to only the houses on it, including ours. Jessi and I were brought back into reality when sand was kicked on us.   
  
"Hey!" We both exclaimed. We sat up and looked up at who had interrupted us. It was non other than the Adam guy from the other day.   
  
"Not you again." Jessi said in annoyance. We both stood up as Jeff, the black haired guy, and another blonde man walked over to us.   
  
"Hey Alisha. Hey Jessi." Jeff said in a happy tone.   
  
"Hi." I said in a somewhat angered tone.   
  
"Are you gonna apologize or what?" I asked Adam.   
  
"Sorry, about today, and the way I was towards you both yesterday." Adam said. I looked over at Jessi surprised that he had actually apologized.   
  
"Which house are you two staying in?" The second blonde man asked.   
  
"Tell me your name, and I'll let you know." Jessi said.   
  
"Oh...where are my manners? Hi, I'm Jay Reso." Jay said.   
  
"I'm Adam Copeland." Adam chimed in.   
  
"And I'm Matt Hardy. I'm sure you already know my brother Jeff." Matt replied. Jessi and I gave them all a nod and a smile.   
  
"We are staying in the house right behind you. Now, where is your house?" Jess asked.   
  
"Our house is right down there. It's the one with the porch swing." Jay said.   
  
Jess and I got to know the group of guys a little better during the rest of the afternoon. That night they invited us over for a cookout and we excepted. Everyone was having a great time, and Matt was just hilarious. They were all telling Jess and I stories of when they were drunk and so on. We learned that they were WWE superstars and that they were only there for a week. When I was finished with my burger they had cooked for me, the sun was setting. I looked out over the beach and then turned to the group of people.   
  
"Excuse me everyone, but I'm gonna take a walk down the beach. Thank you for everything, it was great. Maybe you all can come over for dinner at our house tomorrow." I suggested.   
  
"Are you feeling ok hun?" Jessi asked in concern. I gave her a happy smile.   
  
"I'm fine. I just want to go for a walk." I said. I said good-bye to everyone and started on my way. I let out a sigh of relief as the water crashed at my feet.   
  
"Alisha?" Came a voice behind me. I turned around to see Jeff standing there.   
  
"Yes? What can I do for you Jeff?" I asked.   
  
"I was just wondering if I could join you?" Jeff asked.   
  
"I guess, if you want to." I said as we began to walk.   
  
"So what brings you to Myrtle Beach?" Jeff asked.   
  
"The lovely summer life." I lied, but he couldn't tell.   
  
"Would you want to go out with me tomorrow night?" Jeff asked as he stuck his hands into his pockets. I looked up into his incredible green eyes.   
  
"I would love to." I said with a smile.   
  
"Ok, great." Jeff said in a happy tone. I suddenly got dizzy and grabbed onto Jeff's arm to steady myself.   
  
"Are you ok?" Jeff asked as he slipped his arm around me.   
  
"Yea, I got a little dizzy. Do you mind if we head back?" I questioned.   
  
"Not at all." Jeff said. We turned around and started back towards the houses. 


	3. Three

Chapter Three:  
  
As Jeff and I approached the guys beach house, Jessi caught sight of us. She got to her feet and rushed down to us.   
  
"Alisha, are you ok? What's wrong?" Jessi frantically asked as she took me away from Jeff's grasp.   
  
"It's nothing, I just got a little dizzy that's all. I just need to rest a little." I said as she led me back to our house. Matt, Jeff, Jay, and Adam were right behind us.   
  
"Are you sure?" Jessi asked.   
  
"Yes, now I'm just gonna go lie down on the couch." I said as I walked into the house, to the living room. I flopped down on the couch and let out a sigh. Jessi turned to the four men who had followed us. She walked back out onto the porch, over to them.   
  
"Thank you, but you guys didn't have to come over." Jessi said.   
  
"We just wanted to make sure that she was ok." Jeff said while the other three nodded their heads.   
  
"That is very kind of you." Jessi said as she had a seat on the porch stairs.   
  
~*The Next Day*~   
  
I woke up and found myself still on the couch. I lightly coughed as I stretched and got up. I sluggishly walked into the kitchen and had to squint my eyes due to the sunlight. I found a note on the kitchen table, it was from Jessi.   
  
"Hey hun, Sorry that I'm not here right now. Matt is taking me out to breakfast! Isn't that nice? Well, my cell is on if you need me, and the number for the guys house is on the counter by the phone. Matt said that at least Jeff should be there, and not to hesitate to call. Take care of yourself babe! Be back soon, Jessi." I looked up from the note when I heard a knock on the back door. I opened the door revealing Jeff. "Good your up." Jeff said.   
  
"Jeff, what are you doing here?" I asked. Jeff lifted up the box in his hands.   
  
"I figured that since my brother took Jessi out to breakfast, I would bring you breakfast. I brought donuts." Jeff said as I let him in.   
  
"Jeff, you didn't have to." I said as he set the box on the table and opened it. I stood next to Jeff and gazed at the delicious donuts. Jeff and I sat at the table and enjoyed them. 'He is just to good to be true.' I thought to myself.   
  
"Alisha, I was thinking...I thought that maybe instead of just going out for dinner we could maybe spend the day together?" Jeff asked shyly.   
  
"Sounds like fun to me." I said.   
  
"Ok, great. I'll tell ya what, why don't I go leave a note for the guys and let you get ready. Then I'll be back to pick you up? How does that sound?" Jeff asked.   
  
"Alright. I'm just gonna jump in the shower and then I'll be all set to go." I said.   
  
Jeff soon left and I took a well needed shower. When I was finished showering, I walked down the hall to the room I was staying in. I walked up to the closet and pulled out a pair of white shorts and a baby blue tight tee. I slipped into the clothes, put on my pair of baby blue Vans shoes, and walked downstairs. I grabbed my keys, ID, some money and put them all into my shorts pocket. I wrote a note for Jessi and then walked out onto the front steps. I sat down and waited for Jeff, and I wasn't waiting long. Jeff pulled up in a beautiful 2002 black Corvette. I stood up from my seat on the stairs and walked down to his car. I slipped into the passengers seat and buckled up.   
  
"So, what are we doing?" I asked as I looked over at Jeff.   
  
"I was thinking that maybe we could hit this amusement park near by?" Jeff suggested.   
  
"Uh...sure." I said with a smile. Jeff smiled as he put the car in reverse and we were off to the park.   
  
~*At the Park*~   
  
We parked the car and got out. Jeff and I started towards the gates, but I stopped suddenly when I felt Jeff take my hand in his. I turned to him surprised. Jeff just smiled and I smiled back. After entering the park, Jeff wanted to go on the roller coaster. As we were standing in line I started to get nervous. Jeff noticed this.   
  
"What's wrong?" Jeff asked in concern.   
  
"I'm just not a really big fan of roller coasters." I replied as I let out a deep breath.   
  
"When I'm with you, you have nothing to be afraid of." Jeff said as he slid an arm around my shoulders. Then it was our turn. WE got strapped into the car and it jerked as we began on our way. I grabbed Jeff's hand tightly and he just chuckled.   
  
When the ride was over, I was so excited! I wanted out of that car and never to be in it again. We then decided to move on to the Ferris Wheel. Once again, while in line I was fidgety and Jeff noticed.   
  
"Scared again?" Jeff asked with a laugh.   
  
"Kinda. I'm not a heights kind of girl." I said.   
  
"We don't have to go on this if you don't want to." Jeff said as he took my hand in his again.   
  
"No, we'll go on this." I said.   
  
"You sure?" He asked.   
  
"Yes, I'm sure." I said as we walked up to the stopped cart. We got in and waited for the operator to send us on our way. 


	4. Four

Chapter Four:  
  
When we arrived back at mine and Jessi's beach house everyone was there, including a new blonde and a new brunette females. Jeff and I walked through the front door and found them all in the livingroom, just hanging out.  
  
"Hey guys." Jessi said as we walked into the room. I smiled at the group as Jeff and I had a seat on the brick fireplace.  
  
"Alisha, this is Denise, Jay's wife, and Alannah, Adam's wife." Jeff said as he pointed to the blonde next to Jay and the brunette next to Adam.  
  
"It's great to meet you both." I said with a smile. I stood up and shook both of their hands. We all sat around for about and hour just chatting. Denise and Alannah were both great girls and I could easily see how much in love the couples are.  
  
"So, what are you two girls doing tonight?" Matt asked from his place in the chair.  
  
"Nothing that I know of, unless Alisha has made plans for us." Jessi said from her seat on the love seat by herself.  
  
"Nope, no plans. Why?" I questioned.  
  
"Well, we're going out to a restaurant slash pool hall and I thought that maybe you two would like to join us." Matt said. Jessi and I looked at each other with devious grins on our faces.  
  
"We'd love to." Jessi answered back for us.  
  
"Great! We'll all be back in a little while to pick you two up." Matt said as everyone got up and left. Once everyone was gone Jessi turned to me.  
  
"So?!" She questioned excitedly.  
  
"So, what?" I asked back trying my best not to laugh my ass off.  
  
"How did your date go?!" Jessi asked. She looked like her eyes were going to bug out of her head. That did me in, I began to laugh. Jessi put her hands on her hips.  
  
"What is so funny?" She asked and I could only laugh harder.  
  
"You should see yourself. You look like your Mom." I said as I got up and walked upstairs to get ready.  
  
~At the Pool Hall~  
  
"Hey Jessi, how about you and me go one on one just like we used to?" I suggested from my place next to Jeff in the booth.  
  
"Sure, bring it on." Jessi said as we both stood up. Matt and Jeff turned to each other and shrugged their shoulders. Jessi and I grabbed an empty table and proceeded to rack'em up! Matt and Jeff just sat with Jay, Denise, Adam, and Alannah and watched us.  
  
Then it came down to Jessi and me both on the eight ball. It was my turn. I looked at Jessi, then the eight ball, and then over to the table full of the people we were with. The group looked as though they were so into the game. I found   
  
myself lost in Jeff's gaze and Jessi brought me back to reality.  
  
"Are you gonna win or what?" Jessi asked me. I let out a huff and smiled at her.  
  
"What makes you think I'm going to win?" I asked.  
  
"Cause you always do." Jessi said.  
  
"Whatever you say." I said. Back at the table, Matt was taking bets.  
  
"Who do you think will win?" He asked everyone at the table.  
  
"I've got my money on Jessi" Matt continued.  
  
"Me, too." Adam and Alannah said in unison.  
  
"Nah, I've got my money on Alisha. Do you see that look in her eyes? She's got   
  
this in the bag." Jay said. Denise and Jeff agreed with him.  
  
~Meanwhile~  
  
I turned my attention to the pool table and situated myself. I focused my attention on the cue ball and then the eight ball.  
  
"Eight ball, right corner pocket." I called out. I steadied my shot and then hit the cue ball. We watched as the cue ball traveled down the table and hit the eight ball, sending it into the right corner pocket. I smiled at Jessi and we shook hands as we made out way back to the booth.  
  
"Great game hun. You almost beat me that time." I said as we sat down.  
  
"So, who won the bet?" Jessi asked. The group looked at us amazed.  
  
"How did you know that?" Jeff asked shocked.  
  
"Easy, we heard you. We're not deaf you know." Jessi said with a chuckle.  
  
"Well, if you must know Jay, Denise, and Jeff won." Matt said.  
  
"Good for them. Did you guys order yet?" I asked changing the subject as my stomach growled.  
  
"No, but here she comes now." Jay said as the waitress approached out booth. We gave her our orders and she left. I turned to Jeff.  
  
"When do you guys have to leave?" I asked just above a whisper.  
  
"We leave in two days, why?" Jeff asked back in his own low tone.  
  
"Because I don't want you to leave. I feel attached to you already and I just met you. Is it crazy to feel like that?" I asked him as I looked deep into his emerald green eyes.  
  
"It's not crazy at all, because I feel the same way." Jeff replied as he took my hand in his. We all soon recieved our meal and dove right in. WE shared a light conversation while we were enjoying our meals. 


	5. Five

Chapter Five:  
  
Later that night after Jeff and Matt had dropped Jessi and I off at home, I found myself out on the back porch alone. Jessi ran out to pick up some ice cream and a movie, because neither of us were sleepy. I sat on the stairs and looked out onto the ocean water that was gently breaking onto the beach. I sniffled as a few tears slipped down my cheeks. The ocean breeze blew my hair and I let out a sigh as I though about all the things that I would soon no longer have. I quickly dried my eyes when I heard Jessi's car pull into the driveway. I got to my feet and walked into the house. Jessi was already in the kitchen.  
  
"You really seem to like it out there, huh?" Jessi asked gesturing towards the back porch.  
  
"Yeah, I do. What kind of ice cream did you get?" I asked changing the subject.  
  
"I got Vanilla Fudge Swirl, and I got 'Dirty Dancing'! Damn I love that movie." Jessi said as she took out two bowls for our ice cream.  
We sat on the couch and watched 'Dirty Dancing' swooning over Patrick Swayzy and wishing we could be in Jennifer Grey's shoes. When the movie was over, we turned off the TV. and switched on the radio.  
  
"Jessi, what do you think about Jeff?" I questioned.  
  
"Honestly? I like him. He seems like a sweetie, why?" She asked back.  
  
"Because I like him, and I mean REALLY like him. They are leaving the day after tomorrow and I was thinking about maybe doing something special tomorrow night, if you catch my drift?" I stated more than questioned.  
  
"Really?" Jessi asked.  
  
"Yes really. But I want it to be special, so I'm gonna cook dinner and then take it from there. So you'll have to stay at their house, please? I questioned. Jessi smiled brightly at me.   
  
~The Next Day~  
  
"Hey Matt, Adam, Jay?" Jessi asked as she approached the group of guys on the beach. They all turned and said 'hi' to her.  
  
"I have a question to ask all of you." Jessi said.  
  
"Ask away." Jay said.  
  
"I was wondering if I could possibly crash on your couch tonight?" Jessi asked.  
  
"Sure, but why?" Adam asked.  
  
"Because Alisha has this special night planed for her and Jeff and she's kicked me out." Jessi replied.  
  
"Does Jeff know about this special night?" Matt asked.  
  
"Nope, not yet. So keep your mouths shut about it, or you'll have to deal with Alisha." Jessi said.   
  
Later that night I had set everything up to my liking and everything was about ready. The meal was in the   
  
oven finishing up cooking and now all I had to do was get ready myself. I walked into the living room to see Jessi seated on the couch watching TV.  
  
"Jessi, will you go over now?" I questioned in a soft tone.  
  
"Sure. Jeff will be over when he's ready, probably." Jessi said as she grabbed her back pack and started towards the kitchen door.  
  
"Good luck hun. I'm sure you'll knock his socks off." Jessi said with a chuckle and a wink. I let out a giggle and gave her a smile that spoke a million "thank you" s. When the door shut behind her, I turned and darted up the stairs.  
  
I quickly jumped into the shower and was soon out of it drying off and getting dressed. When I was fully clothed in my black spaghetti strapped satin dress, I walking into my bed room and began to work on my hair. I had decided to leave it down and let it curly naturally. Before I knew it my hair was curly and it looked great, better than I had expected. I then moved on to the make-up. I put a little bit of light brown eye shadow on, some eye liner (to bring out the color of my eyes a little better), some mascara, and then finally some lip gloss after I brushed my teeth. I slipped on a pair of black dress heels and went back downstairs. I went into the kitchen and everything was going as planned. I began to pace nervously as the time passed and Jeff still hadn't showed up yet. Just as I was about to pick up the phone to call, there was a knock at the front door. I walked over to the door and opened it revealing Jeff. A bright smile played his lips as he gingerly looked over my satin clad body. I blushed slightly and moved to let him in.  
  
"You look really nice." Jeff said as he handed me a white rose  
  
"Thank you. You looked great yourself." I said as I took the flower from him. Jeff walked in and I shut the door behind him.  
  
"what's the special occasion?" Jeff asked. I shrugged my shoulders.  
  
"Nothing much. I mean if you have something else to do, I don't want to be the one to stop you, I don't want to be the one to step in your way." I said as I avoided his gaze. Jeff brought his hand up to my cheek, bringing my face to look at him.  
  
"What could possibly be more important that this?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I dunno, maybe a date with a busty blonde?" I shyly suggested.  
  
"Nope, but I do have a date with a beautiful red head." Jeff said as he placed a gentle kiss on my cheek and I couldn't help but blush.  
  
"So, what do you have planned for this evening? Cause I'm all yours." He said as he took my hand in his.  
  
"Nothing much. I just made some Lasagna and bought some Italian bread." I said as I led us into the kitchen.  
  
"Sounds and smells great babe." Jeff said as he went a little further and slipped his arm around my waist. I smiled at him.  
  
A few minutes later we were enjoying our meal and chatting up a storm. Jeff told me so many stories about the crazy antics he and Matt used to do when they were younger. I also learned that they had lost their mother at the young ages of 9 and 11. There was a short silence after that, but I broke it deciding to share his pain and tell him about my father.  
  
"When I was 13, my dad died. He was in a car accident. The police told my mother and I that the impact had happened so fast that he more than likely didn't feel any pain. I like to think that he didn't and that he'd be proud of me today." I said as I took Jeff's hand in mine.  
  
"Maybe your mom and my dad are friends up in heaven." I suggested in a small voice. Jeff smiled as he gently tightened his grip on my hand.  
  
"I think so." Jeff said. We finished our meals and I put away what was left over in the refrigerator.  
  
"Jeff?" I questioned from my place between his legs. We were seated out o the back porch steps, he was on a step higher than mine.  
  
"Hmm?" Jeff mumbled back as he lazily ran his hands up and down my arms.  
  
"I know that this is silly, but do you believe in love at first sight?" I asked shyly.  
  
"Very much so. Do you?" He asked back.  
  
"Yes. Jeff, I think that there is something you should know about me…" I began but was stopped by Jeff's lips on mine.  
  
"You don't have to say anything. But, I think I know where your going with the love at first sight thing, and I have to say that I feel the same way." Jeff whispered before he captured my lips once again. 'I'll tell him later…' I thought to myself. 


	6. Six

Chapter Six:  
  
I slowly pulled away from the kiss. Jeff looked at me with concern in his eyes. I looked down at my hands shyly and took a deep breath.  
  
"What's wrong Lisha?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I'm just shy about things like this." Came my soft reply.  
  
"Oh…OH! Your still a virgin…"Jeff said. My gaze remained on my hands, which were now trembling. 'Don't be so nervous Lisha!' I scolded myself. I slowly nodded my head yes.  
  
"I understand, we wont do anything." Jeff said as he placed a gentle hand on mine.  
  
"But I want to…with you. I know that I've only just met you, but it all goes back to the love at first sight thing. Jeff, there is this connection between us and I know that we both feel it. Please…come upstairs with me." I said in a soft tone.  
  
"I feel it too." Jeff said as he brought his lips down to mine for a breath taking kiss. When the kiss broke, I stood up, took Jeff's hand, and led him to my room.  
  
~At The Guys House~  
  
"So, tell us some more about your life back in Massachusetts Jessi." Matt said.  
  
"Actually, what Matthew is trying to ask is if you are seeing anyone back home." Jay said soon receiving a slap to the back of the head from Matt.  
  
"Ouch dude." Jay said as he rubbed the back of his head. Jessi just sat there giggling at the scene before her. After getting hit, Jay got up and left the room, leaving Matt and Jessi alone. There was a silence between them, and they both knew it was because of Jay's question.  
  
"No." Jessi said breaking the silence.  
  
"No what?" Matt asked confused, but Jessi saw right through it.  
  
"You know what. It's ok, you could have just asked me yourself and saved yourself the embarrassment." Jessi said.  
  
"I just didn't want to be rude." Matt said and Jessi let out a chuckle.  
  
"You wouldn't have been rude, but I must say that I did enjoy the show you put on with Jay, very entertaining." Jessi said.  
  
"Yea well, I try." Matt said with a smirk on his face.  
  
"Aren't you just the smug one." Jessi said adding in a smirk of her own. They both let out a laugh and relaxed more.  
  
"Thanks again for letting me crash here and not asking to many questions about it. This really means a lot to Alisha." Jessi said.  
  
"No problem. It seems like tonight really means a lot to Alisha…why is that?" Matt softly questioned.  
  
"Long story, but Alisha is a big believe in true love, and love at first sight, and stuff like that. I think that she sees all that in Jeff, but don't tell him that cause I don't want to scare him off from her." Jessi said with a light chuckle. 'Great answer Jessi!' She mentally congratulated herself.  
  
"So, why are you single Jessi?" Matt continued on the older subject.  
  
"Because I…I'll admit it, I'm stubborn sometimes. Specially when it comes to relationships and love. I always seen to push the guys I like away, I don't know how I do it, it just seems to happen. Like one day I'll wake up and this great thing I had going on is over…out the window." She said with a light sigh.  
  
"What about you?" She turned the tables on him now.  
  
"What about me?" He questioned, trying not to be obvious that he was nervous about his answer.  
  
"Why are you single?" She continued.  
  
"Because…it's hard for me to keep a relationship when I'm on the road 5 out of the 7 days in a week. I don't get very many vacations and when I do I like to spend them at home and not out on the town. Know what I mean?" He asked.  
  
"Yea I know what you mean. I would be the exact same way if I did what you do for a living." Jessi said. She let a small yawn escape her lips, and she tried her best to cover it.  
  
"I saw that." Matt caught her. They both let out a chuckle.  
  
"I'll let you get some rest sweetheart." Matt said as he stood up and started towards the doorway.  
  
"See ya in the morning Jessi." He said as he looked back at her.  
  
"Night Matt." Jessi replied as she pulled the blanket they had given her up over her body.  
  
~The Next Morning~  
  
I rolled over as the sun seeped through the window and onto my face. I opened my eyes to see Jeff watching me with a smile on his face. I smiled back at him as I stretched and let out a small yawn.  
  
"Morning Sunshine." I said in between stretches.   
  
"Morning Beautiful." Came his soft response. I snuggled closer to his warm body as he tightened his grip around my waist.  
  
"Jeff, last night…"He cut me off.  
  
"Was amazing. Your so beautiful, you know that right?" Jeff said looking me dead in the eyes. He was so serious I was starting to get nervous.  
  
"What is it Jeff? What's wrong?" I asked as I propped myself up on my elbow.  
  
"I…uh…I haven't been completely honest with you Alisha, and I'm so sorry." Jeff said as he sat up and racked a hand through his fading blue and purple hair.  
  
"What is it? You can tell me." I said trying to get him to open up to me.  
  
"I…I…Her name is Beth…" Jeff said and it all suddenly became clear to me. 'He is seeing someone…' I thought to myself. Jeff turned to look at me, and I was shell shocked from the bomb he had just dropped on me.  
  
"How…I…I feel so stupid! I should have known! Why did you lie? How could you lead me on like that? I…I gave you something special last night…now I just feel cheap…I…" I was in awe and didn't know what to say or feel. I stood up from the bed taking the sheet with me, holding it tightly around my body.  
  
"Lisha, I'm so…" I cut him off this time.  
  
"I bet your so sorry, right? Well, I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for being so naive and for trusting you!" I shouted back at him, letting my emotions get the better of me.  
  
"But it wasn't like that…I…" He started to say.  
  
"Save it for someone who cares. Just leave Jeff. I can't even look at you." I said as I turned away from him. I wouldn't let him see me cry.  
  
"Lisha…"  
  
"Leave!" Jeff hung his head in shame as she pulled on his clothes and left. I let out a sigh when I heard the front door slam shut and the tears started to flow. I fell to my knees as the sobs racked my body. 


	7. Seven

Chapter Seven:  
  
"Hey man, what's wrong?" Jay asked Jeff as he came through the front door of their house.  
  
"I just screwed up big time Jay." Jeff mumbled as he walked past the blonde and straight to his room. Jay just shrugged his shoulders and went on with what he was doing. Jessi slowly stirred awake on the couch when she heard the front door slam shut from Jeff. She rubbed her eyes and slowly sat up looking around, remembering where she was. She stood up and walked into the kitchen where everyone else was.  
  
"Morning guys." She said as she entered the room.  
  
"Hey." They all said in unison. "What's all the commosion? I heard the front door slam shut, what I miss?" She asked as she head a seat next to Matt at the table.  
  
"Jeff came storming through here, but he wouldn't say what was wrong." Jay said with yet another shrug.  
  
"What do you mean he came through here? He's supposed to be at my house. Oh crap I've got to go. Thanks for everything guys. I'll be back later to pick up my bag." Jessi said as she ran out the back door and across the beach to our house.  
  
"I wonder what could be wrong. I'm gonna go talk to Jeff." Matt said as he stood up from the table and went up stairs.  
  
~At Our House~  
  
"Lisha! Lisha, sweetie where are you?" Jessi called out as she entered the house. There was no response. She searched the first floor then headed upstairs to my room. I heard her coming, so I turned to look at my room door as it opened. She walked over to me on the window seat and sat down next to me. She looked up at me and she could tell I had been crying.  
  
"Sweetie, what's wrong?" She asked.  
  
"He lied." Was all I could say.  
  
"Who?" She questioned.  
  
"Jeff...he lied to me." I whispered out and I hugged myself tighter. Jessi moved closer to me and took me in her arms.  
  
"What did he lie to you about?" Jessi asked.  
  
"Beth..." I whispered.  
  
"Beth? Who's Be...girlfriend?" She questioned. I only nodded my head yes as more tears took over my eyes. Jessi pulled me to her body and held me tightly as I cried. It was the only thing she could do for me.   
  
~Meanwhile~  
  
Matt came to Jeff's door and waited a minute. He took a deep breath and then knocked lightly. He heard a muffled come in and slowly opened the door to see Jeff laying face down on the bed.  
  
"What's wrong little bro?" Matt asked as he walked in and sat down next to Jeff's prone body on the bed.  
  
"I screwed up." Jeff said as he sat up to talk with his brother.  
  
"How so?" Matt asked back.  
  
"I slept with her Matt! I f*cking slept with the woman of my dreams!" Jeff shouted.  
  
"How is that screwing up?" Matt questioned trying to calm his brother down.  
  
"BETH! Argh I can't believe I did that!" Jeff exclaimed. He flopped back down on the bed and let out a huff of breath.  
  
"But I thought that you and Beth were "taking a break", aren't you?" Matt asked.  
  
"No, she called before we left to come down here and we talk it out and we're together still. Matt, I screwed up big time! I f*cked with Lisha's feeling, I f*cked with Beth's feelings, and I f*cked with my own feelings!" Jeff said a little more calmly.  
  
"I'm sorry bro. I wish that there was something I could say or do to make this all go away, but I can't." Matt said looking at his younger brother.  
  
"Maybe Jessi will be able to talk to Alisha, and work something out, but your gonna have to wish for a miracle." Matt said. He gave Jeff's knee a gentle pat and he stood up and left the room.  
  
~Two Days Later~  
  
"How is she holdin up?" Matt asked on the other line.  
  
"Not so good. I'm worried about her, Matt. She wont go out with me, she wont take any calls, and she barely touches her food! All she does is sits out on back porch watching the ocean. Jeff hurt her really badly, you have no idea." Jessi said back.  
  
"Well, I'm gonna come down this weekend and see what I can do. I'll try to take you two out. I've been told that I'm good at cheering people up, Lisha will be my ultimate test." Matt said with a little chuckle. Jessi let a chuckle escape her lips and then a sigh.  
  
"We will see, Matt. We will see." Jessi said. She turned to the back door in the kitchen when it opened and I stepped in. She covered the bottom of the phone and looked at me.  
  
"Sweetie, it's Matt. Wanna talk to him? He would love to talk to you." Jessi said as she held out the phone to me.  
  
"Sure, why not." I said as I gently took the phone from her and put it up to my ear.  
  
"Hi Matt." I said quietly.  
  
"Hey sweetie. How are you?" Matt asked nicely.  
  
"I'm moving, so nothing to complain about." I said sarcastically.  
  
"Want me to give you someting to complain about?" Matt chuckled out.  
  
"Sure why not." I said as I too let out a little chuckle of my own. Jessi looked at me with a smile, I hadn't laughed since everything had happened.  
  
"So, when are you coming back Matt?" I asked.  
  
"Friday night. I'm gonna stay with you guys till Sunday, is that ok with you?" Matt asked giving me a dose of sarcaism.  
  
"Yes, that's fine with me. I know that it's what Jessi really wants. She misses you so much! What did you do to her Matt?" I asked with a laugh as I watched Jessi's eyes go wide in shock and embarassment.  
  
"Haha. I see that your doing much better." Matt said jokenly. There was a pause as I had to hold Jessi off from ripping the phone right out of my hand.  
  
"Well, Sweetie, I've got to go get ready for my match. I'll talk to you Friday when I get there." Matt continued.  
  
"Ok. Talk to you then Matt." I said back. We exchanged 'good-byes' and hung up. I turned my full attention to Jessi.  
  
"You are so gonna pay for that one girl!" Jessi exclaimed as she darted towards me. I quickly moved out of the way and ran away from her. I was starting to feel a little better and I know it showed. 


	8. Eight

Chapter Eight:  
  
~Friday Night~  
  
"Hey!" Matt said as Jessi opened the front door revealing Matt.  
  
"Hey yourself." Jessi replied back as they shared an embrace. I stood back unnoticed, watching. I had been doing a lot of that lately.  
  
"You look beautiful, as always." Matt said as he pulled away from the hug and gingerly looked her over.  
  
"Thank you. You look nice yourself also." Jessi replied as she turned around, looking for me. She quickly spotted me and waved me over.  
  
"Lisha, look who just arrived." Jessi said as I walked over to the two.  
  
"Hi Matt. It's just you right?" I asked cautiously as I tried to look over his shoulder. I didn't want any hidden surprises.  
  
"Just me I swear!" Matt said as he held up his hands af if to wad me off. I could only chuckle as this. I gave a reasurring nod of my head and ggave him a hug of my own.  
  
~Later That Night~  
  
"Where did Lisha disappear to?" Matt asked from his place on the couch next to Jessi. They had been sitting there talking for what seemed like eternity.  
  
"My god! We've been so wrapped up in our conversation I haven't the slightest clue. Here let me go find her." Jessi said as she started to get up, but Matt pulled her back down. She looked at him kind of stunned.  
  
"You just stay put. I'll go, besides I want to have a private chat with her myself. I need to see how badly my brother screwed up this time." Matt said with a chuckle as he got up and left the room in search of me.  
  
I was seated out on the back porch once again, I seemed to always be out there. I sat on the steps looking up at the moon, feeling sorry for myself once again. Why I let people get close to me so fast is far beyond me.  
  
"How could I be so stupid?" I questioned aloud to the moon.  
  
"Your not stupid." Came a reply from behind me. I turned to see Matt standing there, leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pockets.  
  
"Yes I am. If only you knew..." I started, but stopped. 'I can't tell him.' I thought to myself. Matt walked over and sat down next to me and put a friendly arm around my shoulders.  
  
"So tell me. I want to be someone you can trust." Matt said in a gentle tone.  
  
"Matt, there is something about me that I want to tell you but it's not going to be easy. You see when I tell people this about me, I feel as if I'm letting them down, and I want you to know that I'm so happy to have met you." I said as I hung my head low so he wouldn't see my tears. Matt genlty lifted my head and looked into my watering eyes.  
  
"Sweetie, whatever it is can't be that bad." Matt said.  
  
"You see, that is where your wrong..." I started. Jessi soon came out to join us and she helped me tell Matt what I needed to tell him. I need to say this for my own sanity and to help him get the whole picture.  
  
"Oh my god. Lisha." Matt said as he enveloped me in his arms in a tight embrace.  
  
"Does Jeff know? I mean, did you tell Jeff this?" Matt asked as he pulled away from the embrace.  
  
"I didn't get a chance to." I said as I shifted my gaze to the sandy ground.  
  
~Two Days Later~  
  
"Thanks for coming Matty." I said as we shared one last embrace of the weekend. I broke the embrace and walked back into the house to give Matt and Jessi some time alone.  
  
"Will you call when you have time?" Jessi questioned. Matt smiled brightly and took her into his arms. They had gone out on a few dates over the weekend and they were quickly becoming a hot item and I loved it. Matt was becoming a very good friend, and Jessi was already a great friend of mine, so it's great that they can betogether like they are. I watched them unnoticed once again and I couldn't help but be jealous. 'God they are so lucky to have what they have together.' I thought to myself as I watched.  
  
"Of coarse baby." Matt said into Jessi shoulder. He pulled away and brought his lips down to hers in a breath-taking kiss. It brought a smile to my face. Soon after the kiss broke, Matt was in his rentle car and on his way back to the air port to get the next city for the show that night. Jessi turned and walked back into the house once his car was out of sight. She shut the door behind her and turned around and was shocked at what she saw.  
  
~At The Show~  
  
"So, how is she? Matt! Talk to me man! I need to know." Jeff said as he followed his brother around the backstage area like a lost puppy.  
  
"She seemed good, but better after I had some time with her. I must have a gift or something, I swear." Matt said getting off track.  
  
"Argh! Matthew!" Jeff exclaimed frustrated.  
  
"Ok. She seemed good, but you really screwed up. I think I helped her kind of get over the fact that you slet with her, took her virginity, and then after all that told her you had a girlfriend. I still can't believe you did that, cause that is very low, and specially for you." Matt said as they entered thier dressing room. When they entered they heard Matt's phone ringing. Matt pulled the ringing phone from his duffle bag and answered it.  
  
"Hello." Matt said into the phone.  
  
"Matt! I need you here! You need to com back and quickly." Jessi anciously stated into the phone.  
  
"Why? What's wrong? Are you Ok?" Matt asked worriedly and Jeff cuaught onto this. 'Must be Jessi' he thought to himself as he continued to listen to Matt's side of the conversation.  
  
"I'm fine. It's..it's Lisha. You need to come back, please, I'm scared." Jessi said as the tears rushed forward from her eyes.  
  
"Are you at the house? Where are you guys?" Matt asked.  
  
"County Hospital." Jessi said back.  
  
"I'm on my way sweetie, don't worry." Matt said as he quickly hung up his phone and turned to Jeff.  
  
"I've got to go, and now!" Matt said as he hurridly gathered all his things together.  
  
"What is it? What's going on? Is it Jessi? Alisha?" Jeff asked nervously. Matt stopped what he was doing, contemplating wether he should tell Jeff what was going on or not.  
  
"You better come too. I just hope Lisha doesn't get mad at me now." Matt said. jeff quickly gather his stuff together and then the brother were off to talk to the bosses. 


	9. Nine

Chapter Nine:  
  
~At The Hospital~  
  
"Doctor..Doctor! Could you please tell me what is going on with Alisha Moquin?" Jessi asked as the doctor was walking past.  
  
"Your friend is stable now, but rest assured that we will find out what has caused this. Just sit hear and wait please." The doctor said as he continued on his way. Jessi stood there unsure of what she should do. She heard the elevator ding and the doors open.  
  
"Jessi!" His familiar southern voice rang out. She turned and started towards Matt and jumped into his open arms. Matt held her as she let more tears flow. She slowly composed her self and began to pull away.  
  
"Matt, they wont tell me anything. I...I don't know what to do. This wasn't supposed to happen so soon." Jessi said as Matt led them over to the chairs in the waitingroom.  
  
"What wasn't supposed to happen so soon? What's going on?" Jeff asked making his presence clear. Jessi turned and looked up at him, she had no words.  
  
"Jeff there is something you should know about Lisha." Matt said as he motioned for Jeff to sit down next to him. Jeff sat down and waited to hear what was truly going on.  
  
"Jeff, Lisha is sick...with cancer." Matt said slowly. Jeff jumped to his feet, shaking his head.  
  
"No...no, this can't be true." Jeff said while still shaking his head.  
  
"Jeff, it's true." Jessi piped in.  
  
"No! I'm not going to lose someone else to cancer again! Not again!" Jeff exclaimed as he walked away. Jessi got up to chase after him, but Matt stopped him.  
  
"Let him be. He needs to think about this." Matt said. Jessi sat back down.  
  
~Later~  
  
"You can go in and see her now." The doctor said to Matt and Jessi. Jeff still hadn't come back yet. Matt and Jessi exchanged looks as they stood up and followed the doctor to my room.  
  
"Hey." Jessi said barely above a whisper as they entered my room. They walked over to my bedside and I musterd up a smile for them.  
  
"Hey guys." I replied in a scratchy voice. I was so tired, but I just wanted to see my friends.  
  
"How you doing kiddo?" Matt asked as he took my hand in his.  
  
"I'm tired, but ok. When can we leave?" I asked in a slow tone.  
  
"Soon sweetie, soon." Matt said with a smile.  
  
"I'll go check with the doctor to see if we can go in a little while." Jessi said as she left the room. Matt pulled up a chair next to my bed and sat down.  
  
"Matt, can you do me a favor?" I asked. I let out a few coughs as he shook his head in agreement.  
  
"Sure thing babe, what?" He asked back, looking at me tenderly.  
  
"I know I'll probably never see your brother again, so I want you to tell him something for me." I said as I switched my gaze to the hospital bed sheets.  
  
"Sweetie..."Matt started but I cut him off.  
  
"Tell him that for our brief moment in time, I truly did fall in love with him. I love him..." My voice faded off as the room fell into a silence.  
  
"Sweetie, you can't be so sure you'll never see Jeff again." Matt said.  
  
"He's right." Came another southern drawl. Matt and I looked over at the door where Jeff stood. he slowly walked into the room and over to my bedside.  
  
"Can we have a moment alone?" Jeff asked looking at Matt. Before he could reply, Jessi came back in.  
  
"We can leave now." Jessi said as she re-entered the room.  
  
"Good, I want to get out of here and as soon as possible. I hate hospitals." I said as I tossed back the covers and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Jeff grabbed my clothes that were laid on the end of the bed and links his arm with mine. I looked up into his emerald green eyes, not sure what to think.  
  
"Let me help you." Jeff said. I quickly grabbed my clothes from him and stood on my own.  
  
"I don't need your help thank you very much. I'm very capable of getting dressed and walking on my own." I said as I walked into the bathroom. Jeff turned to Matt and Jessi with saddened eyes.  
  
"What am I gonna do?" Jeff asked to no one in particular as he sat down on the bed I had just vacated.  
  
~At Our Beach House~  
  
"Jessi, can you come with me?" I asked as I started towards the stairs.  
  
"Sure hun." She came to me and we walked up the stairs and to my room. I opened the door and walked in.  
  
"What's on your mind?" Jessi asked as she had a seat on the bed. I walked over to the dresser and pulled out my pajama pants and a white tank top. I turned to Jessi with a sigh.  
  
"What am I supposed to do? Just forgive and forget? Hate him? Or let my heart lead me? I'm so confused, and mad, and terrified at the same time. Is that even possible?" I asked as I plopped down next to her on the bed. She put a reasurring arm around my shoulders and pulled my body to her's.  
  
"I say, let you heart guide you. Sometimes, our hearts and our heads go against each other and the one that always wins is the heart. I know what you have with Jeff is something amazing, it's true love. It takes some poeple their entire lives what it took you a week to find. You and Jeff are a few of the lucky ones, you belong together. It's aweful what he did to you, but you may not even know the whole story. So get dressed, and get your butt down there so your heart can guide you." Jessi said as she pulled away and tapped my knee. She got up and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. 


	10. Ten

(A/N: Sorry for the lack in updates on this story. I have been having some problems lately, but I'm getting over them and have found some time to work on this story. I hope you all had a great holiday season and what-not. So, now with out further adue...onto the story! ~Lisha)  
  
Chapter Ten:  
  
~Downstairs~  
  
"How is she?" Matt asked as Jessi walked into the living room and sat down next to him on the couch.  
  
"She's very confused, and right now getting in her pj's." Jessi said with a chuckle as Matt slid and arm around her.  
  
"But she's gonna come down right?" Jeff asked from his place in the doorway.  
  
"I think so. Jeff, she's not at full strength so go easy on her." Matt said with a stern look.  
  
"Whatever Matt." Jeff mumbled as he walked out of the room. I was walking down the stairs as he walked past them. I was trying my best not to be noticed but, I just had to sneeze. Damn nose. Jeff looked in my direction and stood, as if frozen. I let out a light chuckle at how he looked and then continued on my way down the stairs.  
  
"Lets talk." I said in a soft tone as I took his hand and led him out to the back porch. I sat down on a step close to the bottom and stuck my feet into the cool night sand. Jeff sat down next to me and waited, unsure of what to do or say.  
  
"I'm so sorry Lisha. I truly never meant to hurt you the way that I did." Jeff said, breaking the silence.  
  
"I'm sorry to. I'm sorry for being so níeve and thinking I could trust you." I spat out at him.  
  
"But you still can trust me..." Jeff stated but his voice drifted off.  
  
"I can't Jeff. See, you lied to me, and slept with me, and I let you take something so precious from me. That meant so much and then you had to lie!" I said my voice rising with the unshed anger and pain.  
  
"But you lied to! Your sick, and you never thought once about telling me that, did you?!" Jeff exclaimed as he stood up and began pacing. I closed my eyes, to fight the tears, but it wasn't working.  
  
"I...I just didn't know how to tell you. You know, before I met you I was ready to die. I had come to terms with it and stopped with the treatments. Then you walked into my life, and I'm not so sure anymore." I said as I re-opened my eyes, letting a few tears fall.  
  
"So, you can start the treatments again and you can fight this...we can fight this!" Jeff said trying his best to reasure me.  
  
"No Jeff, I can't. My condition has worsen and they can't do anything for me. All I can do is live my life as best as I can. I understand if you want nothing to do with me, but if that is how you feel then leave now. I can't just have you walking in and out of my life for the few last moments I have." I said turning my face away from his.  
  
"I...I..." Jeff stammered. I turned my gaze away from him and started down the porch steps. Jeff just stood motionless, unsure of what to do, with his head telling him one thing and his heart another. I slowly walked off down the beach in my own world, watching the waves once more. They were the only constant, yet forever changing thing in my life. They resembled my life perfectly, as I sat down on the cool, damp sand. Always coming back, but a different wave each time. Like me, I was the one to always be there for others, yet I was different each time. Always evolving, looking at things differently each time. Then life through me a curve ball, cancer. Scared to the core for the first time in my life, not knowing how to deal, Jessi was right there with me. From from the first years of our lives, she'd alway been there for me and I for her.  
  
"How can she be so calm about all of this? How does she manage to keep herself together, when I can barely keep my self together." I said out loud.  
  
"Looks can be decieving." Came a male voice from behind me. I turned slightly to see Matt standing there. He moved beside me and sat down.  
  
"Why are you out here?" I questioned.  
  
"I figured you could use someone to talk to, specially after the talk you had with Jeff." Matt said in his deep southern accent. I sat there looking at him, afraid to open my mouth, more afraid of what would come out.  
  
"Sweetie, you can talk to me you know." Matt said as he slipped his arm around my shoulders pulling my side to his.  
  
"I'm so scared Matt." I breathed out as the tears fully took me over.  
  
"I know sweetie. Let it all out." Matt whispered in my ear as he held my closely. 


	11. Eleven

Chapter Eleven:  
  
Two weeks have passed since I talked with Jeff on the beach that night, and I was miserable. All I did was walk up and down the beach. Jessi couldn't do anything to help me and it was tough on her, I could see it in her eyes.  
  
"Lisha, lets go see a movie, huh?" Jessi suggested as she walked out on to the back porch. I was seated on the swing when she sat down next to me.  
  
"What movie?" I asked back not even looking at her.  
  
"How about 'The Rundown'? It's got Sean William Scott in it." Jessi said. I turned my gaze to her. We sat looking at each other. She could see the pain in my eyes and I could see the sadness in hers.  
  
"I miss him Jessi." I said as I let a few tears roll down my cheek.  
  
"I bet you do. So why don't you call him?" Jessi asked.  
  
"I can't! He probably hates me. I know I would if I were him." I replied as I switched my gaze back to the ocean.  
  
"I'm sure he doesn't hate you. I bet he misses you just as much, if not more. His number in by the phone, call him." She said as she nudged me lightly.  
  
"What would I say to him?" I questioned.  
  
"Anything you want to. Just talk to him. You know people make mistakes all the time. If they didn't they wouldn't be human. And just because Jeff made a mistake doesn't mean that you two can't be friends and over-come this." Jessi said as she stood up and walked into the house. I followed shortly after her and grabbed his number. I sat down at the table with it, just staring at it.  
  
"Here, this might help." Jessi said as she handed me the phone.  
  
"Oh shut up." I shot back playfully.  
  
"what? It's not like you have ESP and can just talk to him that way." Jessi said jokenly. A small smile played on my lips.   
  
"Ok, now get out of here. I don't need and audiance when I'm already nervous enough." I said shoowing her out with my hand.  
  
"Alright already. I'm going...bossy." Jessi said as she left the room, her last comment making me chuckle. I picked up the phone, holing it for a minute then finally dialing his number. It rang twice before someone picked up.  
  
"Hello." Came a man's voice.  
  
"Hi, is Jeff there?" I asked.  
  
"Yes, just a second. He's almost done primping himself up." The man said with a laugh. I could hear people in the background.  
  
"Adam knock it off! If anyone in here 'primps' himself it you with that hair of yours!" Someone yelled.  
  
"Now give me my phone." The man said as he took the phone from Adam.  
  
"Hello, don't mind Adam. This is Jeff." Jeff said. I froze momentarily, not sure what to say.  
  
"Hello? Is anybody there?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Uh...Jeff? It's Lisha..." I finally found my voice.  
  
"Lisha? Wow, I'm surprised." Jeff said, somewhat in shock.  
  
"Did I call at a bad time? I can call back..." I rambled on.  
  
"No, no, no.Your timing is perfect. I was just getting ready to head out to the next city. I'm driving by myself so you'll keep me awake." Jeff said.  
  
"Why are you by yourself and not with Matt?" I asked curiously.  
  
"Matt just left to go see you and Jessi. You know he really likes her." Jeff said.  
  
"She really likes him too. I'm happy that they have each other." I said as we fell into a somewhat uncomfortable silence.  
  
"I'm sorry." I blurted out.  
  
"For what?" He asked back.  
  
"For being so stupid and being mad at you..." I started but was cut off.  
  
"Don't be sorry. I'm the one who should be sorry." Jeff said.  
  
"Can we just put it behind us and start over?" I asked in shy tone.  
  
"I would like that very much." Jeff replied.  
  
"So, what city are you going to?" I asked.  
  
"Chicago. It's about a 3 1/2 to 4 hour drive from where I am, but it'll be good. Driving always helps settle me down. Specially after a hard match or something." Jeff said.  
  
"It must. Who did you go against tonight?" I asked genuinely interested.  
  
"Rey Mysterio. He's great to work with. One of my favorites cause we both can pull off some cool moves to make the match really entertaining." Jeff said, the excitement evident in his tome. I smiled to myself as I realized that I was happy.  
  
~2 1/2 hours later~  
  
"That is so funny." I said as I let out a yawn.  
  
"Hey, why don't you go get some sleep now." Jeff said over the phone.  
  
"But I'm not tired. Besides Matt got here an hour ago and they dissappeared to Jessi's room, and I really don't want to listen to them." I protested lightly.  
  
"Now that's funny. Hang on a sec babe, I got a beep." Jeff said.  
  
"OK." I said then I was put on hold. After about ten minutes, Jeff came back.  
  
"Sorry bout that." Jeff said in an agrivated tone.  
  
"It's ok. What's wrong?" I asked concerned.  
  
"Don't worry about it." Jeff said as he let out a sigh.  
  
"No, tell me." I said.  
  
"It was Beth..." He breathed out. I went silent on my end.  
  
"Lisha? Lisha, you still there?" Jess asked. I blinked a few times before answering.  
  
"Yea, I'm still here." I choked out.  
  
"But it's not like you think. We're not together anymore." Jeff tried to reason.  
  
"Don't worry about it. I don't care, it's your life." I said.  
  
"But I want you to know that I left her for you." Jeff said nervously.  
  
"You shouldn't have done that." I said.  
  
"Why not? Can you give me one legitamite reason hy I shouldn't have?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I'm dying! That's a good reason." I blurted out at him.  
  
"Forget I said anything. I don't ant to argue with you." Jeff said.  
  
"OK. I think I'm gonna head to bed now. Will I still see you next week?" I asked.  
  
"Deffinitely you will." Came his reply.  
  
"Ok. I guess I'll talk to you soon." I said.  
  
"Of coarse. G'night Lisha." He said.  
  
"Good night Jeff." I said then hung up. I put the phone back on it's charger and walked into the livingroom to see Matt and Jessi snuggled up on the couch. Their gaze switched to me as I entered the room.  
  
"That was a long conversation." Jssi smirked at me.  
  
"I was keeping him awake as he drove so shoot me." I replied sarcastically. Matt made the signature Hardy gunz and pointed them at me.  
  
"Bang bang kiddo." He said. I couldn't help but laught at that. 


	12. Twelve

Chapter Twelve:  
  
~ A week later~  
  
"Are you sure your up to going out tonight hun?" Jessi asked in a concerned tone.  
  
"100% sure." Came my reply.  
  
"Ok. Let's go downstairs. Matt and Jeff are waiting." Jessi said as we walked out of my roon. We were both in a pair of flare jeans. Jessi had on a navy blue tank top with white sneakers, and I had on a hit baby tee with white flip-flop sandals. Jessis hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and my ahir was half up half down and curly. We were going down to the pier with Matt and Jeff to see the 4th of July fireworks. We walked down the stairs and met up witht the boys in the livingroom.  
  
"Ready?" Matt asked.  
  
"Ready." Jessi replied. We all climbed into Matt and Jeff's rntal car and headed to the pier. Whn we arrived it as already starting to get dark and a lot of people were there. I sat quietly in the back seat with Jeff, but I wasn't paying any attention. I was just watching people through the window. I was broght back to reality when my door as opened. Jeff opened my door and extened his hand to me. I took it and got out. e walkd down the pier and had a seat along the edge, dangaling out feet out over the side.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Jeff asked me.  
  
"This." Came my reply.  
  
"The fireworks? They should be great, huh?" He asked.  
  
"No, this." I said as I took his hand in mine. He looked down at our intertwined hands and then back up at my face and smiled. I smiled back at him then looked over at Matt and Jessi. She was leaning against him with her head on his shoulder. He had his arm draped around her, holding her securely at his side.  
  
Soon the fireworks started and they were a beautiful display of colors and they brought and even bigger smile to my face. Sometime during the display Jeff wrapped his arm around me and I didn't mind it one bit.  
  
When I fireworks ended we all decided to get somehting to eat. We went to the Cracker Barrel. We were seated in the back away from the people so Matt and Jeff wouldn't get recognised.  
  
"That was amazing. I just love fireworks." I said as we looked over the menus.  
  
"I'm glad you had a good time." Matt said.  
  
"I had a great time! I say we go out dancing after dinner. What do you all think?" I asked.  
  
"I'm game." Jeff said. Matt and Jessi declined.  
  
O'm tired, but you two go and have a great time." Matt said. Jessi agreed with him and I just shook my head.  
  
"You guys are like rabbits." I remarked.  
  
"We are not! WE enjoy eachother's company." Jessi deffended.  
  
"Sure you do. Don't worry you'll have the house to yourselves for a good couple hours." I said with a smirk.  
  
"Lisha!" Jessi exclaimed as she playfully hit my arm. I could only laugh at her and so did everyone else.  
  
"What can I get for y'all?" The waittress aked as she came over to our table. We gave her our orders and she left. We were all having a great time and talking about all kinds of things, but mainly about the guy's wrestling schedule.  
  
After dinner we went our seperate ways. Matt and Jessu went back to the beach house and Jeff and I went for a walk. We walked along in a peaceful silence for a ways, till I broke it.  
  
"Why?" I asked.  
  
"Why what?" Jeff asked confused.  
  
"Why are you here? Why am I here? Why are things so complicated?" I started.  
  
"I dunno. Things happen for a reason you know. Although sometimes you can't always find the reason why." Jeff said as he looked over at me. We stopped walking, and turned to face eachother.  
  
"I know, but I just want to know why? Why you came into my life now and not before? I mean, until you came around I thought I was ready for all of this...no I'm just not sure. Life is funny and ironic this way, ya know?" I said shaking my head. I turned away from his gaze and wrapped my arms around myself. Jeff just didn't know what to say.  
  
"I just have to get over all of this. I wonder why people always wonder why?" I said with a slight laugh. I could hear Jeff chuckle behind me. I turned back towards him.  
  
"Lets just have a great time and not worry about the rest of the world. All that really matters is you and me." Jeff said as he reached out for my hand. I looked at him hand then slowly back up to his face as I took his hand. We continued down the pier, watching the ocean, people, and the stars. We came across this elderly couple sitting on a bench eating ice cream. They were so in love and we could tell. The man wasn't eating his fast enough and a little bit dropped on his chin. The woman took her napkin and gently wiped it off and smiled at him. It was the cutest sight I had seen in a long time. It was refreshing to me to see that.  
  
"What are you thinking about now?" Jeff chuckled as he shook my hand in his. I looked at him and smiled.  
  
"Them." I said as I pointed to the couple on the bench. Jeff smiled.  
  
"Their cute. C'mon, it's getting late. Lets get you home." Jeff said as he pulled me closer and slipped his arm around my lower back. I nodded and laid my head down on his shoulder with a sigh. 


	13. Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen:  
  
~1 Month Later~  
  
I sat out on the back porch, watching the sun rise in peace. Jeff and I had become much closer and were doing great. He and Matt came down every weekend and as often as they could. Jessi and Matt were not admitting to being a couple and are quite serious about eachother. Just the thought of those two together brings a smile to my face. Matt is just what Jessi needs. Someone to look out for her when she's not, which is always. Jessi has always been the one to look out for others, but not for herself. She's very unselfish in that way. I admire her strength, she's a very special person, and very deserving of Matt's attention and love. That's right, love. I was there when they first told eachother they loved them, but they didn't know I was there. I was on the stairs, listening in. They make me happy, just the sight of them.  
  
Jeff on the other hand is something totally different. He makes me smile so much that sometimes I think my cheeks will never return to their normal status. We have nothing but fun when we're together. Which only makes this harder on him, I can see it in his eyes. He wont admit it, but I can just tell. We don't do much talking, but a lot of listening and just doing things. I know it's his way of getting his mind off of it, keeping himself to busy to notice, but I do.  
  
I look up as Jessi walks out and sits next to me, placing her hand on leg.  
  
"It's almost time." I just about whispered. She just nodded her head. She, too, didn't want to admit it. I couldn't blame her, I would do the same if the roles were switched.  
  
"Is Matt coming tomorrow?" I questioned, slightly changing the subject but not really.  
  
"Yes, he and Jeff will be here. Are you planning another fun filled weekend for you and Jeff?" She asked, trying not to let this all get to her. It was killing me.  
  
"Trying to." I lied, knowing I wouldn't be there. I stood up and looked down at her.  
  
"I'm going inside to my room. I need to do a few things to get ready for the boys this weekend. I'll be in my room if you need me ok hun?" I questioned. She looked up into my brown eyes and smiled.  
  
"Ok. I think I'm gonna stay out here a little longer and soak up the sun a little." Jessi said as he reached for my hand, taking it into her's.  
  
"Ok...I love you." I said trying harf not to let my voice crack with emotion.  
  
"I love you too." She managed to speak out. I let go of her hand and walked into the kitchen, stopping as I heard her sobs begin. Blinking back my tears I walked to my room shuting the door behind me. I walked over to the bed and pulled out a notebook from behind my pillow and sat down on the floor with it. I had been writing random things in it since we had arrived in the house 2 months ago. I opened the book to Jessi's page. Each of them had a page for just them, one for Jessi, one for Matt, and one for Jeff. Each page contained ideas for a letter I knew that I would have to eventually write to them....my good-bye letter.  
  
"It's time." I said quietly to myself. I pulld out a fresh piece of paper and began to write Jessi's letter.  
  
Jessi-  
  
Hey you! I guess by the time you read this...I'll be gone. But I want to let you know something. I love you! I can't even begin to describe what you are to me. Your a best friend, a companion through the hard and good times, and mostly your a sister. You're my sister. I know these past few months must have been extremely hard on you, and I'm sorry. No one should ever have to go through what you did for me. You where there from the very begining. From the very first day your mom changed my diaper, to our first loose tooth, to our first crushes, first heart breaks, a lot of firsts. I wouldn't be the person I am if it weren't for you. You inspire me in so many ways, and I admire you so much. You have to be the strongest person I have ever and will ever know. I want you to keep your head up, and keep looking to the sky, cause that's where I will be. I found this poem a little while ago, and I wanted to pass it on to you.  
  
Only You  
  
With you, it's all about  
  
voiceless communication-  
  
always knowing what to say,  
  
but never actually having to say it.  
  
When no one seems to be listening,  
  
you hear.  
  
When I hurt but don't show it,  
  
you know.  
  
When I turn away to hide my tears,  
  
you see.  
  
When I feel like I can't get through to anyone,  
  
you understand.  
  
You know everything there is to know about me.  
  
You know what worries me,  
  
what keeps me up at night,  
  
and what shames me so badly  
  
that I can't share it with anyone.  
  
Most importantly, though,  
  
none of those things bother you.  
  
ou've restored my faith in people  
  
and proved that there is a thing  
  
called true friendship.  
  
You mean the world to me, and I don't know what I would do if something happned to you. Matt's a good guy, something that I know you need. Don't go through this alone, let him help you heal what I have done. I know that you are a mess right now, but always know that I love you and that I love you so much. One day we'll be reunited, but until then, I'll be in your heart.  
  
Love Always,  
  
Alisha  
  
I pulled out an envelope and put the letter in it, sealing it shut and tucking itto the notebook as I wiped away my tears. 


	14. Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen:  
  
I pulled out two more blank pieces of paper for the last two letters I had to write. Matt and Jeff's. I sighed as I decided to save Jeff's for last.  
  
Matt-  
  
Hey buddy! There are just a few things I thought that I would share with you. Jessi being one of them. She's a great girl huh? Yea. I love her to pieces, and I can tell that you do to. I know that my death is really hard on her, so I want you to take good care of her for me. Do you think you could do that for me? I knew thatI could count on you. In the short time that we've come to know eachother, you have proven to me that you are a great guy and worthy of a lot of great things. It's hard to write these letters to you all, but it's a sense of closure for me, and it should be for you all too. Your destin for bigger and greater things Matt, I can just tell. I know in my heart that you and Jessi will have one of hose fairy tale relationships, and it brings a smile to my face. I wrote Jessi a poem that I had found, and I found this for you.  
  
' One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.  
  
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.  
  
This really bothered him and questioned the Lord about it. 'Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.'  
  
The Lord replied, 'My precious, precious child. I lov you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.' '  
  
Whenever you think that your alone, you're not. You have God and me looking out for you. Remember that. You are all Jessi has left now, you need to be the one to carry her through her trials and suffering. I know that you will. Thank you for everything that you have done for her and I over the past few months, and thank you for being here for Jessi. It really does mean a lot to me. Stay strong old man.  
  
Love Always,  
  
Alisha  
  
I folded up the letter and put it in an envelope of its on and put it in the notebook with Jessi's. 'Once more...' I thought to myself as I took a deep breath, bringing my pen down to the paper. This was harder than I thought it was going to be.  
  
Jeff-  
  
Hi. So much I could say to you, but I can't get it all straight! You are the only person who has ever made me feel this way...so alive. I want to thank you for being here for me, for staying by my side after all that we went through, just to get here. I still think it wasn't worth you throwing away what you had with Beth, but what does it matter anymore? I just wanted to tell you a few things, but I just can't seem to get them out. I was listening to the radio one day when I heard this song, and it sums up everything I want and need to say to you. So, here goes.  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
There's another world inside of me   
  
That you may never see  
  
There's secrets in this life  
  
That I can't hide  
  
Somewhere in this darkness  
  
There's a light that I can't find  
  
Maybe it's too far away...  
  
Maybe I'm just blind...  
  
Maybe I'm just blind...  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Right me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am  
  
And everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could   
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
But you won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
  
Love me when I'm gone...  
  
When your education x-ray   
  
Cannot see under my skin  
  
I won't tell you a damn thing   
  
That I could not tell my friends  
  
Now roaming through this darkness  
  
I'm alive but I'm alone  
  
Part of me is fighting this  
  
But part of me is gone  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Right me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am  
  
And everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could   
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
But you won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
  
Maybe I'm just blind...  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Right me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am  
  
And everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could   
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
But you won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
  
Love me when I'm gone...  
  
Love me when I'm gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
I love you Jeff, and I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to tell you that. I regret every minute we had together and I didn't tell you that. I'm so sorry for not being able to be there with you now. I'm so sorry. I just hope you can forgive me..and love me while I'm gone.  
  
Love Always,  
  
Alisha  
  
I finally let my tears fall freely as I folded up the letter and sealed it in the envelope. 


	15. Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen:  
  
I walked out into the livingroom after gathering my composure and sat down next to Jessi on the couch. She looked over at me and we exchanged a gently smile.  
  
"Can we go out to dinner tonight? Just the two of us?" I asked in a small voice. Jessi gave her head a nod.  
  
"Sure we can. Where do you want to go?" She asked turning off the tv.  
  
"No where super special. Let's go to Friendly's. How does that sound?" I asked.  
  
"Sounds perfect. When did you want to go hun?" She asked.  
  
"Is 5 ok? I'm a little tired today so I want to get to bed early." I said, my stomach doing flip flops.  
  
"That's fine sweetie. You need your rest." Jessi said with an underdstanding smile. I smiled back at her and stood up to go get ready for dinner....  
  
~An Hour Later~  
  
"I'm ready, how about you?" I asked from my place in the kitchen. I held a glass of water in one hand and a few pills in the other. I downed th pills and water fast as I heard Jessi coming in the room. I turned around to see he standing there with a sad expression on her face.  
  
"Which ones were those?" She asked.  
  
"Which one were what?" I asked trying to play dumb, but it wasn't going to work.  
  
"The pills. Which ones did you take?" Jessi asked, her tone slightly turning into a demanding one.  
  
"Morphine. It as only too. I just have a little pain in my back. Nothing big." I lied, hiding the real truth and pain.  
  
"Maybe we shouldn't go out tonight." Jessi said as she came over to me and took my hand.  
  
"No, no. I'm fine. I just need to eat something and relax. The pain will go away. It's really nothing big to worry about. Besides, the boys are coming down soon and I want you all to myself for one night." I laughed out. Jessi let out a small sigh and little smile.  
  
"Oh ok. I sear you and Matt make it seem like you have to fight to get my attention." Jessi laughed out. I smiled to myself as we grabbed our bags a left the house. We soon arrived at Friendly's. I felt like a little child...all excited for Friendly's. Jessi laughed at me as I skipped up to the door. We walked in and were quickly seated in a booth made for two, away from the crowds.  
  
"Hi, I'm Wendy and I'll be your waitress this evening. What can I start you two ladis out with?" Th waitress asked.  
  
"I think wew're all set to order now, if that's ok." Jessi said in a polight manner.  
  
"Ok, that's just fine. What would you like?" Wendy asked looking at me.  
  
"We'll have two cokes, and two orders of the chicken strips baskets, one with extra honey mustard sauce and the other with bbq sauce." I said with a smile. 'The usual Friendly's meal' I thought to myself. Wendy quickly wrote it all down and thanked us after taking the menus and left. I looked over at Jessi and we both burst out into laughter, like the good ol' days.  
  
"I think you scared her." Jessi joked out.  
  
"I think I did to. I kinda feel bad...' I paused looking at Jessi. 'Nah!" We both blurted out. Wendy soon returned with our drinks and left again. She didn't like us..we could tell.  
  
"This reminds me of my 17th birthday....that waitress that hated us! Oh my God were we aweful to her!" I laughed out. Jessi laughed right along with me as we took a trip down memory lane.  
  
"Oh God were we ever! I still can't believe that we left her floss and band aids for a tip!" Jessi laughed harder. I couldnt' get the words out I was laughing so hard.  
  
Wendy came back with our meals and we thanked her as she quickly left, making us laugh. We began to eat in silence, and it was a little un-nerving for me.  
  
"This is nice. I always love coming to Friendly's." I said as I took another bite of my chicken.  
  
"Yea...it's always so..so...Friendly." Jessi joked. I laughed at it losening the mood a little.  
  
"We should get those super huge sundae's and just do it up! Do you remember that girls night out with Andie, we at in town and then went to the next town over to get ice cream from Friendly's? We could have staied and got it from the one in town, but no! We go out of town for it." I laughed.  
  
"Yea, I remembe that night. You had those huge shoes on to feel taller and you slipped in the snow getting in and out of the car! You were so silly that night! My goodness...hey wait! You said the same thing that night about the big ice creams." Jessi said giving me a look.  
  
"So?" I asked trying my best not to lose it and burst into another fit of laughter.  
  
"So?! I don't think I could deal with a repeat of that night, with you and your silliness!" Jessi playfully exclaimed. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, I burst into a fierce fit of laughter. It go to the point where I was in tears. I wasn't even sure if they were tears from laughing or of saddness, knowing I wouldn't be here for another one of those nights. Jessi couldn't tell, she just thought I was laughing, and I was grateful for that.  
  
We finished our meals laughing and just joking around like the times we were remembering. We paid for our food and left the waitress a decent tip even though we knew she didn't like us. I guess we wre making up for the other waitress we wronged in the past. As we stood to leave, a sharp pain ripped through my back and I held in my cringe so Jessi wouldn't notice. 


	16. Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen:  
  
~Back At The House~  
  
We soon got back to the house and went inside. I plopped down on the couch, stiffling a scream as mor pain shot through me. Jessi sat next to me, but not for long as the phone rang. She was quick to retreive it...it was Matt as usual. I smirked to myself as she left the room on the phone. They were my favorite couple by far. I curled my feet up underneath me as I let out a deep breath, trying to ease my pain. Instead I began to cough, cough to the point were I was spitting up blood. I quickly grabbed a napkin and tried to calm it down before Jessi came back or heard me. I slowly stood, carefully walking into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and began to drink, but it wasn't helping, only making it worse. I began to panic. 'No, not now. Not this way.' I thought frantically to myself. I quickly made it to the sink where I threw up. Tears began to run down my cheeks as I panicked more. Jessi came in to see me hunched over the sink and coughing harshly.  
  
"Matt, I'll call you back." Jessi said quickly as she abruptly hung up on him and rushed to my side.  
  
"Swetie, breathe....c'mon. Breathe with me." Jessi coached as she took in deep breaths and let them out. I tried my best to follow her, but only ended up throwing up again. She noticed the blood and turned to grab the phone to call 911, but I grabbed her hand. She turned back to me as I frantically shook my head 'no'.  
  
"You need to get to a hospital." Jessi tried to reason. I managed to slow down my coughs to talk.  
  
"No! I'm not going back to any hospitals!" I said in a harsh tone. I let go of he hand and gripped onto the sink as I threw up again. Jessi respected my wishes and began to rub my back soothingly. After about 20 minutes of coughing, gaging horror, it all began to subside. I slowly sank down to the floor exhausted from it all and breathing heavidly. Jessi sat down next to me and pulled me to her, craddling me in her arms.  
  
"Thank you." I whispered out to her.  
  
"Ok." Came her soft reply.  
  
"Jessi, I'm sorry." I said as I began to cry. My weakness was to strong and I could no longer hold in my tears of pain and sadness.  
  
"It's ok sweeite. It's ok." She is whispered to me as she rocked us back and forth on the floor. I started to calm myself as she pulled slightly away.  
  
"Come, lets get you in bed to sleep this off. OK?" She suggested. I nodded as she helped me up and slowly out to my room. She helped me chang into my pajama pants and tee shirt, then into bed. After pulling the blankets up she leaned over me and kissed my forehead.  
  
"See you in the morning." She said in a soft tone. She rose up and left the room. I hesitantly fell asleep.  
  
~In The Livingroom~  
  
Jessi grabbed the phone and quickly dialed Matt's cell phone number. She waited till her picked up.  
  
"Oh my God Matt! I was aweful! I can't do it...I can't do this anymore." Jessi sobbed out.  
  
"Shhh...baby, calm down. What are you talking about? What's wrong?" Matt asked, his soothing tone comforting her instantly.  
  
"Lisha...Matt, I've never seen her so bad. She's fading and I can't take it anymore. I want to help her but I can't! It's killing me! I just can't do this....I..I think I'm gonna be sick....." She dropped the phone and rushed to the bathroom just in time. Coughing as she finished, she picked herself up and walked back out to the livingroom where she dropped the phone.  
  
"Jessi?! Jessi!" She could hear Matt yelling for her.  
  
"I'm here." She replied in a raspy voice.  
  
"Are you ok? Should I call an ambulance for you?" Matt asked concerned.  
  
"No...I'm ok...I got sick." She said in a sad tone.  
  
"Are you sure your ok?" Matt asked.  
  
"Yes...I need you here though." Her tone getting lower and sadder.  
  
"We'll be there by the morning." Matt said trying his best to comfort her. Jessi looked over at the clock and it read 9:45 pm. She let out a sigh as she turned her attention back to the phone.  
  
"Ok. I think I'm gonna go try to get some sleep. The back door is open so if we're not up just let yourselves in." Jessi said as a yawn crept out of her mouth.  
  
"Alright. You get some sleep babe. I'll see you in the morning." Matt said. They xchanged good-bye's and hung up. SHe placed the phone back on it charger and headed to her room to fall into a fitfull sleep. 


	17. Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen:  
  
~The Next Morning~  
  
I managed to get some sleep, but not much. I moved to roll onto my back, but I couldn't. There was a body spooning with mine, and their arm was over me. I turned my head and smiled as Jeff's face appeared next to mine. I snuggled deeper into the hold with him, loving the feeling of his arms around me.  
  
"Good morning." Jeff mumbled out. I smiled as I looked up at his face again.  
  
"Morning. When did you get here?" I asked as I rolled around so I was facing him.  
  
"3:00 this morning." He replied as he opened his green eyes to me.  
  
"I love our eyes." I whispered.  
  
"And your so beautiful first thing in the morning." Jeff said as he pulled my body flush with his. I laid my head on his chest, just listening to his heart beat.  
  
"I heard about last night." Jeff said with a sigh.  
  
"Let's not talk about it. It's in the past, and we don't need to worry about it now. I'm gonna go get an apple, I'm starving." I said as I slowly slid out from his grasp.  
  
"I'm coming, just give me a minute." He said, still in the same spot.  
  
"No. You stay and sleep. You need your rest now, not me." I said as I stood up and carfully walked to the door, opening it and walking out, closing it behind me. I managed to get to the kitchen befor having to sit down. I plopped down in a chair at the table and let out a sigh as I reached for an apple.  
  
"How did you sleep?" Matt asked as he walked into the room. I nearly choked on my apple.  
  
"Ok, are you trying to kill me?" I joked out. I suddenly bit my lip realising that it wasn't funny, or a joke...not anymore.  
  
"You had us all worried about you last night." Matt said as he came and sat down across the table from me.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said as I lowered my head in shame. I never meant to be a burden.  
  
"Don't be sorry for something that you can't control. How are you feeling today?" He asked as he reached over and took my hand in his. I looked up into his eyes and began to cry.  
  
"Hey hey hey. None of that sweetie." He said as he moved over to the front of my chair, kneeling before me.  
  
"Matt?....I think...I...I think today is the day..." I began to cry harder.  
  
"You can't say that. You'll be fine and here with us tomorrow. You'll see." He said, he too not wanting to believe it, but he knew too. I could see it in his eyes and face. He wrapped his big strong arms around me, holding me tightly to him. He pulled away and wiped my tears as Jeff walked into the room.  
  
"I thought I told you to get some more sleep?" I tried to scold him. He just smiled.  
  
"And keep me from you? I don't think so." He said, kissing the top of my head as he walked by to the fridge.  
  
"I was thinking about just spending the day out in the sun? Swiming and tanning?" I suggested to him as Matt left, going back to Jessi. Jeff took out a water bottle and turned to me, nodding his head.  
  
"It's a date." He said with his breath taking smile.  
  
"Ok, let me go get in my suit them we'll hit the beach." I said as I got up and left. I picked out my suit from the dresser and put it on, leaving, grabbing my towel on the way. Jeff was in the livingroom watching cartoons when I came in.  
  
"Wow...look at you... Ms. Sexy Thing." Jeff said with s whistle.  
  
"Oh shut up. I'll be outside." I said as I walked to the kitchen and out the back door. I laid my blanket down and them laid myself down. I was alone for a while and didn't notive when Jeff joined me. There was a shadow over me and I opened my eyes, looking straight into Jeff's emerald green eyes. He truly was amazing.  
  
"What can I do for you Jeffro?" I asked moving my arm up to my forehead.  
  
"Come swiming with me?" Jeff asked in his all too familiar childish tone. I let out a laugh as I took his hand standing up. We swam and played in the water like children for what seemed like forever. The whole day was spent either in the water or just laying on the beach.  
  
~Inside~  
  
"Look at her, Matt. She's so happy with him." Jessi said from her place at the sliding glass doors, watchin me and Jeff out in the water.  
  
"Yea, they are good for eachother. Baby, are you ok? You've been very quiet today." Matt said as he walked up beind her and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"I'm fine." She lied and Matt could tell.  
  
"Liar. I know what's going on in that head of yours." Matt said as he lightly tapped the side of her head with his finger.  
  
"I'm scared Matt. So scared that I'm not strong enough for this...for her." Jessi said as she blinked away the tears.  
  
"Oh sweetie, your stronger than you know." Matt said as he placed his head on her shoulder.  
  
"I don't think so anymore." Jessi said.  
  
"I think so. You've come this far and haven't faltered once! Now, that to me is pretty damn strong. And now, I'm hear so lean on me when you need to baby." Matt said. They both let out a laugh as they watched Jeff get dunked under the water by me. 


	18. Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen:  
  
~Later On~  
  
I walked out of the bathroom freshly showered and dressed in a white sundress. I left my hair down, letting it do it's own thing. I pulled out a blanket from the closet and went out on the back porch to watch the sunset. Matt, Jeff and Jessi were all in the livingroom watching 'Finding Nemo' and laughing their asses off, but I didn't feel much like laughing. I felt like all the energy had been sucked out of my body, but I thought nothing of it telling myself that it was because I spent most of the day playing in the water with Jeff. But deep down, I knew that wasn't the reason why I felt that way. I just wanted to be like everyone else and deny it. So, I was. I watched the sun set, setting the slowly turning night sky on fire with color. I watched the sunset every night, and every night it was a different display of colors and clouds, but still all the same beautiful. I knew that this was my very last sunset, soaking up all that I could before heading inside. I left the blanket out there, hoping to see tomorrow's sunrise.  
  
"There you are. We were looking for you." Jeff said as I came into the kitchen from outside.  
  
"How is the movie?" I asked changing the subject off from me.  
  
"It's good, in a kiddy way." Jeff said.  
  
"Well duh! I mean come one genius! It's a kids movie." I playfully struck back.  
  
"Haha, you think your so funny." Jeff said as he put his arm around my shoulders.  
  
"That's because I am." I joked as we walked into the livingroom.  
  
~3:30 AM~  
  
I woke up feeling sick, and very hot. I quietly got up and out of bed, making my way to the bathroom, quiet as not to wake anyone up. Once in there I threw up, blood again, and did it as quietly as I could. Once my body had calmed down, I went back to my room taking out my notebook. It was time, I could just tell. I took out Jeff's letter, placing it on my pillow next to his head, leaning in to kiss his cheek softly. I let out a sigh as he stirred lightly and fell back into his deep sleep. I walked down the hall to Jessi's room. I walked in slowly to see them both asleep in eachother's arms, so peaceful. I stifled a cry as I walked further into the room. I pulled out their letters and placed them on the dresser infront of the bed, standing up so they ouldn't miss them. I just wanted them to get the letters, so I could really say goodbye. I crept over to the bed on Matt's side first, kissing his cheek lightly, adn moved over to Jessi's side. I couldn't do it. i just couldn't bring myself to kiss her and say goodbye. This wasn't happening. I wasn't really leaving everything behind, mainly my sister! My twin! My other half! My soul! But I was. I wiped at my tears as I leaned over and kissed her forhead.  
  
"I love you sis." I whispered to her. A single tear slipped down my cheek and feel onto hers. I pulled back afraid I had waken her, but I didn't. I slipped out of the room and out to the back porch, to my spot on the swing. I sat down, curling my legs up underneath me as I pulled the blanket up and over me. I sat in silence listening to the waves crashing on the shore and thinking back on all the times I shared with Matt, Jeff, and specially Jessi. I brought us here, I brought her here, here to Matt. I did that, and I was thankful. People say that things happen for a reason, my cancer lead us here to Myrtle Beach, lead Jessi here to the arms of the man she's destin to spend the rest of her life with. Me. I'm the reason people always talk about, and as I sat there thinking back on my life, a smile crept onto my face. Me, I as a good thing, and I realised this now as the sun began to rise. A new day. My day. I sat there on that swing, watching the sunrise cascading color after color across the sky and over the ocean.  
  
"Thank you" I whispered out as I closed my eyes. Ending this part of my life with a beautiful sunrise. 


	19. Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen:  
  
Jessi woke up as the sun peered through the window and onto her face. She looked over at Matt and smiled as he looked back at her. Her smile faded as she looked around the room adn her gaze landing on the envelopes on the dresser.  
  
"Matt, what are those?" Jessi asked him. He turned his gaze in the same direction and saw the letters.  
  
"I don't know." He said as he got out of the bed, grabbing them and quickly getting back into bed. He handed her the one with her name on it. They both opened th sealed envelopes and began to read. Jessi gasped as she read her's bringing her hand up to her lips to hold in her cries. When they were finished with their letters they looked at eachother. Matt pulled her to him as she let her cries be heard. Suddenly the door flew open as Jeff rushed in.  
  
"What?" Matt asked as he looked at his younger brother.  
  
"Where is she?" Jeff asked frantically.  
  
"What do you mean? Who?" Matt asked back.  
  
"Alisha! Where is she? She's not in her room. She wasnt't there when I woke up and I found this instead." Jeff said as he held up the letter. Jessi looked up to see the letter in his hand adn the tears in his eyes. She knew exaclty where I was. She stood up and left the room with Matt and Jeff right behind her. They all stopped frozen in their tracks as they all laid eyes on my body in the swing. Jeff rushed out the doors and over to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and shokk my genlty, trying to wake me. He collasped to his knees sobbing when I wouldn't open my eyes. Jessi walked out and helped him to his feet, wrapping her arms around him as they both cried. Matt joined them and slowly lead them back into the house.  
  
~1 Week Later~  
  
Everyone as gathered in the small church in Jessi's hometown. Matt and Jeff both at her sides. Jeff turned to Jessi and took her hand in his. She looked over at him, her expression blank, numb.  
  
"May I be the one to say a few words?" He asked her in a gentle tone.  
  
"Sure. She would have liked that. I know she would have." Jessi said as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.  
  
"Thank you." Jeff said. Then when the time came for the eulogy, Jeff stood up. He walked up to the podium, clearing his throat of his unheard sobs and began to speak.  
  
"Alisha, was a phenominal person. In the short time that I had known her, she showed me so many things. How to trust, how to give, how to live, how to exsist, and most importantly, how to love. I loved her more than she'll ever know. In the short time I was with her, I loved more than I have ever loved, more than I will ever love. She told me in a letter once that she regrets everyday with me in which she didn't tell me she loved me. But she didn't have to tell me, I knew it. By the way she smiled at me, the way she looked at me, and even by the way she called me Jeffy or Jeffro. She was wise beyond her years and she loved to pass that on. I'm sure we'll all remember her smartass jokes when we got our facts mixed up or when we just plainly didn't know any better. But most of all we'll all remember her love. SHe told me that she heard this song one day and said that it described how she felt for me, and I think it fits everyone today." Jeff said as he turned around and reached for his guitar. He pulled the shoulder strap ove his head and positioned his fingers and began to play.  
  
"This is dedicated to a woman who was loved beyond her knowlege. Alisha...this is for you" He whispered out the last part.  
  
"There's another world inside of me   
  
That you may never see  
  
There's secrets in this life  
  
That I can't hide  
  
Somewhere in this darkness  
  
There's a light that I can't find  
  
Maybe it's too far away...  
  
Maybe I'm just blind...  
  
Maybe I'm just blind...  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Right me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am  
  
And everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could   
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
But you won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
  
Love me when I'm gone...  
  
When your education x-ray   
  
Cannot see under my skin  
  
I won't tell you a damn thing   
  
That I could not tell my friends  
  
Now roaming through this darkness  
  
I'm alive but I'm alone  
  
Part of me is fighting this  
  
But part of me is gone  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Right me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am  
  
And everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could   
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
But you won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
  
Maybe I'm just blind...  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Right me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am  
  
And everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could   
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
But you won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
  
Love me when I'm gone...  
  
Love me when I'm gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
When I'm Gone" Jeff let his tears fall as he made the song fade out. He closed his tightly as he whispered to himself. I looked down on this scene and smiled. I was loved beyond my knowlege, and mainly by this man, Jeff Hardy, my soul mate. 


End file.
